Self Portrait | Shedding Shame
Bobbi Jo Brooks, self portrait, 2024
This self-portrait sheds light on the shame I’ve held for so long.
This week, a powerful conversation with women about trauma and its effects on our bodies resonated deeply. We are reading The Body Keeps the Score together and wow it’s a lot to chew on but it’s made me think and reflect (and create self portraits)
Throughout elementary and high school, I was bullied for being “big” which in reality simply meant being taller than my peers but in my mind it was my weight.
A vivid memory is struggling with the fact I had to buy a size 10 dress for my middle school dance when some friends wore a size zero. The shame I felt for that dress lingered into adulthood. Recently, seeing a picture from that dance, I was struck by how beautiful I looked. I wasn’t “big” at all. This realization sparked a desire to let go of that distorted self-image and embrace who I am no matter my size.
This self-portrait, created with a distorted view of myself and featuring a black top with small flowers (similar pattern to that size ten dress) symbolizes the shattering of that shame of that experience.
Here is to loving me AS I AM. Creating self portraits is part of my healing journey towards self-acceptance.